Female navigation systems

A short video put me on the following idea: What would happen if you were to navigation systems equipped with artificial intelligence? More precisely, with a female artificial intelligence ...

We write the year 2007. Gernot Singer, a fellow engineer at the University of Jerusalem has left me a prototype of a new navigation system, a flexible system that even when unforeseen problems (Sturm, diversions by fans) is to quickly and easily find solutions. I had chosen the female version, because it always means that female brains are very agile and capable of multitasking.
Her name was Raphaela and today we launched our first practice test. I got into my car, turned on the system and said: "After Rittersberg, Hessen, Odenwald."
"Oh yes, now, master," came the cheerful voice of an approximately 22-year-old woman. That with the "master" had to leave unfortunately not (Gernot had been in his childhood is a fan of the TV show "I Dream of Jeannie"). In return, I called Raphaela "refinements".
"We are three hours and 24 minutes be on the road," came Raffi's voice as I pulled away. "How long?" I asked suspiciously.
"Yes," chirped Raffi, "it seems the sun!"
This causal link between sunshine and duration of the trip for me was not apparent at first glance. In reply to a question in turn sounded very happy - but with a slightly reproachful tone: "In this weather ...", namely Raffi had a connection to the Internet service wetter.com, "... we are surely in between at the lake in Erbach ..." Raffi also knew baggerseen.de Internet service, "Loading ... a break!"
"No," I said firmly, "I am traveling on business -. Not break"
"But of course, Master. Journey time is 2 hours minutes 17. "
After I had left from the highway, I awaited the instructions from refineries, which came promptly:
"Straight on, Master!"
"But Raffi, it's just straight - there is nowhere a crossroads."
"Of course not. I say the only way to safety. "
I was silent.
Raffi was silent.
Until her voice rang out: ". The next right" actually emerged as a farm road, but with the label "organic farm crediting avoided."
"Are you sure you really, Raffi?"
"Of course I'm sure!" Easy indignation in her voice. Just when I struck the steering wheel to the right, was alarmed Raffi's voice over the loudspeaker: "But not right here!"
I just could not catch the car and drove on the highway.
"Sophistication", I said, "Carry me finish! Just you but ... "
She interrupted me: "I know what I said! I'm 'N ä Highest e' words. If I had meant this one, I "this one" would have said. "
I was silent ...

For now ... in fact there was a road that was probably correct and led to a small town. In the town center, however, I came to a detour that left two options open.
"Raffi, here is a diversion."
"Uiuiuiui" came from the center of the car. "A diversion?"
"Yes, Raffi. Should I go on Wiebelbach Heubach or maximum? "
"Hmm ... we have to decide there now?"
"Yes, Raffi, and fast. Behind me are already other cars. "
"Please do not Hetz! Since no system can be so focused! "Her voice was an octave higher made. "Wait - I'm asking from the satellite."
I waited behind me honked it, I just drove to the edge sometimes.
"Are you ready?" I inquired, after 2 minutes was nothing to hear from Raffi.
"Fidget not," came the reply without delay. "I'm almost done!"
"Good." I waited. After another 2 minutes, I just wanted to start, as her little voice told quickly and clearly: "Go past the maximum."
I put the car in gear and drove off, but asked: "Are you sure you really?"
"Pff, who navigated the two of us here - me or you ... Master" The "Master" was delayed and this time, it seemed, somewhat sarcastically.
I said nothing and continued on. After some time I did but say, "Somehow I feel that the other direction would have been much faster."
"Of course that would have been faster, but is also 20 km shorter."
"What?" It came from my throat. "Why have they not taken then?"
"Because this route is much nicer here. Look at this beautiful tree-lined streets alone at! "
I pressed her lips together and drove on.
From my dark thoughts I woke Raffi:
"We have to at some time left."
"At some point? Is it a little more specific? "
"Well, over there just once."
In fact, over there came a crossroads and I steer to the left.
"Stop," exclaimed the speaker Raffi. "The other way!"
I jerked the steering wheel to the right and creating just the curve.
"What's that?" I asked, now somewhat angry.
"What do you mean, dear master?" Raffi's voice sounded subdued.
"You've just said 'Turn left!'"
"That's right. But I said turn right. "
"Whew - you know that it is the task of a navigation system, in these matters to be as accurate as possible?"
Raffi was silent.
I said, "Do you understand me?"
Any rumblings coming from the speakers.
"What?" After I hooked.
"Now you've not even got a Sun Left, right - who's going to be there so petty. I can not think of everything at the same time, "it sounded sharp.
"Man, Raffi, so we never get to your destination on time!"
Raffi's sound was faster a few bars:
"Oh yeah? Now I am well again? The Lord just sits comfortably behind the wheel, looks at the rest area, admiring the trees and looks forward to the sun. But he does not mind that I work here and sweat and do my best to make him as good as possible, go! "
"Listen, I do not want to discuss with you ..."
"Aha," she interrupted me brusquely. "The Lord Is So a discussion of the way? Sure, because it is so convenient, always be right, because ... "
Now, I interrupted her and said something rude on my part:
"Darn it all, Raffi, you're just a machine and I have to ..."
A sob burst from the speakers.
"Only a machine ...", it sounded quiet. "I'm more so not for you? A few wires, some plastic ..., "the voice grew quieter and dried without a trace.

I swallowed hard and explained that I had not meant that way. But Raffi is not answered. My other excuses fell on deaf ears, so I suggested she finally, bring the old shell-Atlas from the case and even to find the rest of the way. This proposal generated but only further fits of weeping, which suppresses emerged: "Oh ... I'm no longer so you good enough? If I do not work that way, as I do, then you attack just a replacement? Interchangeable, like a piece of metal! "
I gulped down the remark that she was actually just a piece of sheet metal, the atlas in the trunk and let me hand over hand, so to sign the sign of the destination. The next day I could build refineries and sent back to Israel. That brought me though a series of sleepless nights and feelings of guilt, but eventually I would have overcome the ...